For the past couple of weeks, I have helped to walk Alex’s class the few blocks from school to the local Y for swimming lessons. My help has been needed most in the way of crowd control in the change room as 6-8 year old boys can have a little “trouble” getting on with things. The hijinks tend to include everything from standing in the middle of the room and doing nothing (a la Alex) to pointing and screaming about the fact that you just saw someone’s “wee wee” or “Sponge Bob” underpants. I believe that if a parent were not there they would all eventually extricate themselves from the room somewhat safely and successfully with only a few wearing underwear back to front or leaving a sopping wet towel on the floor. I believe they would. Regardless, I have tried to be there every day and as such have not really tested that theory. And even though I am a teacher and work with young people as a career, the “bloom” of being with my child while at the same time refereeing a bunch of wet and screaming young boys has begun to fade from the rose ever so slightly.
But we remain, as parents, dedicated to helping out. The other day Linton and I made a cheese tray for Colin’s class party, attended a volunteer thank you tea, attended another picnic in the park for Alex’s class and delivered thank you/Christmas presents to the boys’ teachers. It was a busy day. In fact many days over the past few months have been busy with respect to our involvement in the boys’ school lives. That is certainly what we had hoped would be the case this year and I think we have come to be known within the school yard as those “keen Canadians”. So be it. We are proud and fortunate to be so involved.
And yet, you might say we are about to enter uncharted “involvement” waters. In just two more days Linton, Colin, Alex and I will all be free of any work or school responsibilities for six whole weeks! This has never happened before in our family. I would suggest that it rarely happens in any family! The idea that mom and dad could be home with the kids all day every day for six straight weeks seems at first to be both a miracle and a blessing. After all, this was what this year was going to allow us to do – just be with the kids and be a family. This amount of time with our kids would have made us drool even two years ago.
Linton and I have certainly warmed to the idea of not working, and I haven’t even been in school for a whole month with at least another six weeks to go in that regard. We have both adopted a comfortable but fulfilling life of leisure. And now we are ratcheting up the equation by throwing the boys into the mix. There will no longer be a need for early alarms, rushed showers, packed lunches, homework, backpacks, walks to school, walks back from school and all that other school related stuff. It is a situation that should bring us nothing but sheer joy - so why are we so nervous?
One of the things that is becoming apparent to both of us is what work offers in the way of an adult diversion. It is quite logical that we are only figuring this out now. Going abroad for a year has created a rather cyclical pattern to our attitude for change and it seems that at the six month mark the cycle is returning to the “home” position. At first we were keen to rid ourselves of the pace, politics, and stress that comes with a full time job. Then we were content to immerse ourselves in the time we now had to explore new things and this wonderful new place. After that we moved to missing little bits about the people, connections and intellectual challenge that work supplies us with. And now, finally, staring down the gun of a long hot summer in Melbourne with children – suddenly and a little bit surprisingly, work is looking pretty good.
Bizarre – I know. About as strange as the thought that we are actually going to miss the cold and snow at Christmas. And even though I know deep down we are some of the luckiest people and parents on earth to be doing this kind of thing with our kids – the simple fact of the matter is that from time to time – we all need a little space. I have never felt closer to my children and I am positive that this collective experience is shaping their soul and psyches for the better. However, our family without plans is a recipe for disaster. Combine that with the fact that we have an extremely small social circle, no car, a strict budget, and 40 degree heat looming in the distance and the summer has the potential to be "interesting".
Now, don’t get me wrong. There will be a lot of games in the park and craft projects at home with trips to the local pool and library. But those can only go so far and the kids get tired of them, too! We have been unable to find any kind of program for the guys though not due to a lack of trying. We have looked at soccer clinics, tennis lessons, swimming classes, art classes – the list goes on – but nothing has seemed to work. We are travelling for about three weeks of the break, so that will offer its own diversions but it will still be “the mom and dad show”. Just rhyming it all off makes me start to feel sorry for the boys!
So this humble blogger’s perspective is this. We rail and wail against work for many reasons. We wish we didn’t have to work so that we could do the important things – like hang out with our loved ones. And yet, as I come to the end of almost six months of fairly intense parenting and family interaction, I have a better appreciation for what a healthy work-life balance can offer. I know I will change my tune the second week back at school and I know the worst day as a parent can still be better than the best day at work. However, I am also now of the opinion that a parent who has been able to go out and use another part of their brain, contribute to the success of a different group of people, essentially breathing and living at a different pace – is a parent who has created an opportunity to see their family in a new and fresh way upon returning home at the end of the day. At the same time, my appreciation for the work and mental stability of stay at home moms (and dads) has risen tenfold. And though I feel a subtle longing for personal accomplishment that goes beyond a well read bedtime story, I will still look forward to my walk to the pool tomorrow.
PS - The picture of Alex was taken at his class picnic where he lost his second tooth!
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